DEAR ABBY: Husband makes a poor choice with wife’s health

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, my husband was told that our adult child’s partner had tested positive for COVID two days before we were scheduled to visit them. My husband — a forever Good Time Charlie — decided not to inform me. Neither of us at that point had contracted COVID. We had taken every precaution we could to avoid it.  

I have MS, which can react in unpredictable ways to viral exposures. My husband knows this very well, which is why I’m perplexed and furious that he thought it better to “stay on the good side” of our son by not allowing me to decide for myself whether I wanted to walk into a potentially deadly situation.  

I only realized the danger I was facing when our son, while driving us to his apartment, suddenly apologized to my husband, stating he “couldn’t do it,” and said his partner was in the throes of COVID! I was shocked speechless, but I held my tongue until we were alone.  

My husband said he didn’t think it was a “big deal” because we wouldn’t have stayed long, and he knew I’d back out of the visit and “ruin it for everyone.” He doesn’t understand the issue, and I’m considering a divorce because he withheld information which could have led to a serious health outcome for me.  

Is his behaviour as major an issue as I think it is, or am I overreacting? We’ve been married 40 years, in a generally fair relationship, but we married very young. His blatant disregard for my health, let alone his own, not caring how either of us would react if we had become exposed to COVID, may be unforgivable. Do you agree? — GOOD TIME CHARLIE’S WIFE

DEAR WIFE: Was your husband’s selfish lapse in judgment a one-time thing or has he always been this way? “Ruin the visit for everyone”? Your son’s partner was in no condition to entertain. You are fortunate the visit didn’t turn into a tragedy. I think you should discuss this not only with your physician but also an attorney and take your cues from them.  

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend, “Matt,” for three years. Everything was great in the beginning, and I was happy I had found someone with the same interests as me.  

I have a son, and we are very close because it has been pretty much just me and him for a long time. Matt hates it! He constantly says extremely mean things about my job as a mother. My son hides out in his room all the time, and it has become awkward here. Matt and I have a house together. I am miserable and want out. I have seen what a mean and angry person Matt can be, and I’m done. How do I start that conversation and move on with my life with my son? — FED UP IN ARIZONA

DEAR FED UP: Your boyfriend isn’t likely to overcome his jealousy of your son. If you and Matt own the house jointly, you may need a lawyer to ensure you get your money out. Contact one and ask what the process involves. Once you have that information, let your lawyer tell you how to proceed with separating yourself from Matt. 

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.