اخبار العرب-كندا 24: الاثنين 15 يوليو 2024 03:15 مساءً
Born in a German displaced persons camp in the aftermath of World War II and adopted to a couple in Israel shortly after, 77-year-old Elana Milman says one conversation led her on a quest for answers to her past and identity.
It wasn't until this year, along with the help of genealogical experts, decades spent searching and trips spanning several continents, Milman says all the fractured pieces of her identity have come together.
"It was as if a missing piece of my life's puzzle finally fell into place," said Milman in an interview with Yahoo News Canada.
'A great big secret': Milman's early years in Israel
Born to a single mother in 1947, shortly after the end of World War II, Milman says she was sent to Israel, at the time named British Mandate of Palestine, at just 13-months-old in the hopes of a more secure and stable life.
Adopted into a loving family and spending the first years of her life living on a kibbutz in the north, Milman says at 6-years-old, she overheard a conversation that would change the course of her life forever.
"One night I overheard my classmate say he has a great big secret that he is not allowed to say or else his parents will kill him," said Milman.
That secret, it turns out, was that Milman's parents weren't her actual parents.
I did not sleep at all that night.Elana Milman, Israeli-Canadian adoptee
Milman says she immediately confronted her parents and the truth to her past spilled out.
"We're not your birth parents but we are your parents," they told Milman in full disclosure. "We are going to love you for the rest of our lives and provide a wonderful life for you."
Over the years, Milman says she would bug her parents for answers to her origins, and while they never discouraged her questions, they told her she would know more when she grew older.
'I found my mother in Montreal': Birth certificate unlocks Milman's origins
It was finally when Milman, nearing her 30s and pregnant for the third time, that she approached her adoptive mother saying "If you have anything else to tell me, I have to know 'Who am I, and who was my mother.'"
This is when a birth certificate bearing Milman's biological mother's full name was produced, and upon further searching, the discovery that her mother was alive and living in Montreal, Canada.
"It was kind of a shock," said Milman. "After so many years of not knowing, it was a big relief."
Milman says shortly after, she, along with her three children and husband moved from Israel to Montreal in an effort to build a connection with her biological mother, who she says was named Franka.
I had to prepare myself if she was going to be friendly, if she was going to be warm to me.Elana Milman, Israeli-Canadian adoptee
"I wondered if she's going to be more to me, if she's going to tell me the secret of her life, and in fact, she has a lot of secrets," Milman said. She says her mother also never disclosed why she had given her up for adoption.
Milman points out that many of her mother's stories would be filled with contradictions, which she partly blames on the fact that her identity had been changed as war raged across Europe.
Her biological mother did praise her efforts to track her down, saying "She told me she was proud of me that I did everything to find her."
The pair grew closer over the years, with her mother travelling to the kibbutz Milman was raised at, and met with her adoptive parents, who she says were supportive of the search from the start.
"I let her tell me whatever she wanted. After she passed away, (I) continued to research on from her state, and I found lots of details about her and my family," Milman said.
'The most wonderful thing happened:' Help arrives on Milman's quest for answers
In an attempt to put the missing pieces of the puzzle of her life together, Milman says she was urged by her granddaughter to write a book about her life, which she did and published titled When you Grow Up You Will Know.
While promoting her book, Milman says that a head researcher at MyHeritage stumbled across an article sharing her story and offered to help unlock the secret of her father's identity.
After working with the team for half a year, and providing a DNA sample, Milman says they were able to isolate a match to a Polish man Juliusz, who would turn out to be her half-brother.
She met her long-lost brother for the first time earlier this year over a video call.
"I was so happy, I can't even describe it," said Milman. She says this was the conclusion of all her years spent searching. "I don't have to look for anything else."
Through conversations with her brother, she was able to learn more about who her biological father was.
Juliusz shared their father was a natural artist, playing violin and was renowned for having a great singing voice.
"Once I heard that, I burst into tears," said Milman. "You can imagine waiting so long and asking yourself, 'Where did I get this talent from?'"
"I was so happy I can't describe."
Shortly after reconnecting with her brother, Milman says she travelled to Poland to meet him.
"This journey was about seeking my identity and belonging, that was my motto all my years," said Milman. "I knew that I'm not going to get stopped, and not having any rest until I found all my answers."
Elana Milman's book, “The Secrets My Mother Kept” is available on Amazon.
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